Petar is snug, and Olga and Nenad, by the rhythm of his breathing, his loud stretches and a long sigh, know he has drifted off. Petar’s parents are blind, but that does not stand in the way of being dedicated, attentive caregivers. With support and guidance from visiting nurse Sladjana Stanic from the Zrenjanin Health Centre, they began learning parenting skills while Petar was still in the womb.

"With them, it was important to strengthen touch and voice—sound,” says Nurse Sladjana, for whom this visit was meaningful both professionally and personally. “We talked about the signals babies give: what it sounds like when the baby is hungry, when he is seeking closeness, and when he is simply unsettled. It’s important to reduce parental stress—to know that this is a natural phase and that it doesn’t mean, as people sometimes say, that the baby is being ‘naughty’ or ‘stubborn’.”

Petar was still in his mother’s womb when Olga and Nenad began learning how to raise their child with love and understanding.

“We learned that there are different kinds of crying,” Olga says. “Sometimes he’s hungry, sometimes his diaper is wet, and sometimes he just needs to feel that we’re here. In those moments, you shouldn’t shout—take him in your arms, soothe him, talk to him, so he knows we’re with him.”

In Serbia, corporal punishment of children is still not explicitly prohibited within the family. Although the use of physical violence in child-rearing has decreased over the past fifteen years, research shows that nearly half of children are exposed to violent discipline at home. Many parents, in moments of exhaustion, fear or helplessness, reach for what they remember from their own childhood—shouting or hitting.

“Here, the belief that punishment is natural is deeply rooted—that ‘you can’t let a child do whatever they want’,” says Sladjana. “Parents are often overwhelmed and, out of powerlessness, resort to what they know: tapping fingers, yelling, pulling… Unfortunately, sometimes even with very young children.”

That is why UNICEF, together with partners, is developing programmes that offer parents knowledge, support and practical guidance on how to respond to children’s needs without violence. UNICEF’s programme ‘Be the hand that loves and the word that encourages’aims to do exactly that: to show that there are positive, nurturing and gender-responsive parenting practices.

In Zrenjanin, the training brought together professionals from three systems—health, education and social protection. Among them was Sladjana, who shared with colleagues her experience of working with Olga, Nenad and little Petar.

"One system cannot do it alone,” explains Olivera Lisica, Director of the Zrenjanin Centre for Social Work. “When social protection, health and education work together and speak the same language, it becomes easier for parents to understand their children’s needs, reflect on their parenting style, and strengthen their parenting skills.”

Through the support programme for professionals, an original 5P* preventive model was developed. It provides a simple, clear and consistent way to communicate positive parenting across all systems that work with families.

The PRAAS model offers professionals a framework for conversations with parents: starting from understanding the child’s needs (Provide), helping parents recognise their own reactions (Reconsider), avoiding inadequate and violent practices (Avoid), offering positive alternatives to punishment to teach skills and rules (Apply), and encouraging parents to seek support when they need it (Seek help). Instead of “punishment”, professionals and parents work through a series of small steps that build a child’s sense of safety and competence—while helping caregivers feel they are not alone.

UNICEF’s PRAAS preventive model helps professionals guide parents, step by step, through the core pillars of positive parenting—from understanding children’s needs and reflecting on one’s own reactions to seeking support instead of using force.

Jelena Draskovic Lazin, a preschool teacher from the Preschool Institution in Zrenjanin, says this approach has changed the way she speaks with parents.

"When parents come for a counselling conversation, we first try to understand their story—what kind of parents they want to be, what kind of parents they are in practice, what feels difficult, what scares them. Children’s behaviour and emotions are always a message, not a label—‘good’ or ‘bad’. In the training, we learned how to hear those messages together with parents and respond calmly and supportively.”

 

During the programme’s first cycle in 2022, several hundred professionals from the social protection system across Serbia completed the training. In the second phase, implemented during 2024/2025, the programme expanded to include professional associates in preschool education as well as primary health-care professionals. The idea is that wherever a parent seek support—whether at a health centre, a kindergarten or a centre for social work—they will hear the same message: violent child-rearing is harmful and unnecessary, and support is available.

Slađana says the training encouraged her to devote more time to conversation.

"I work more with parents to help them relax and understand that it’s okay not to know everything in every moment. But the message is always the same: violence—whether behaviour or discipline—is never the solution. Love, understanding and patience are.”

 

The programme supporting professionals to promote non-violent child-rearing was developed within the project ‘Ending violence - Empowering change’, jointly implemented by UN agencies in Serbia—UNDP, UNFPA, UNICEF and UN Women—in partnership with the Government of the Republic of Serbia, with support from the Government of Sweden. The project contributes to building a society where gender-based discrimination and violence are unacceptable, women’s rights are protected, and women and men participate equally and contribute to all spheres of life.

Originally published at unicef.org